I’d say I’m worried and sad expect that fucker quit the Attorneys, so actually, I don’t give a shit.

OH WHO AM I KIDDING I CAN’T STOP CRYING. TAKE ME INSTEAD GOD TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!!!!

It’s been tough since Kareef quit the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law. I can’t seem to get out of bed most of the time and I haven’t showered in 17 days.

But I’m still working on a new UAL album. I’m trying to do something a little more serious and socially conscious. Right now, the working title is Why Do Whales Have to Die? and it’s about the industrial destruction of our planet’s oceans. No release date yet.

In the meantime, I guess just keep listening to our old songs and reliving the glory days of the Attorneys. At least, I know that’s what I’ll be doing…

It doesn’t make any fucking sense! He went to all the trouble of making a real sweet YouTube channel for the Attorneys and then he posted a video saying he’s quitting!!! Fuck you, Kareef. You’ll be hearing from me SOON.

With that said, I am not quitting the Attorneys as of now. But I have been doing some soul searching. I look at our body of work and I say to myself, how could I let my kids see this one day, and I’m not talking about the thousands I have been skipping child support payments on. I’m talking about the kids me and my third wife actually love. I believe that maybe I am changing. I can’t go out anymore and get shit faced and tag team random sluts with Furious every night and be satisfied with my life. Sure, its nice to casually buttfuck a chick for hours on end and fall asleep knowing that I’ll be doing the same thing the next night, but I just don’t think I can keep up anymore. Or maybe I don’t want to.

The Unlicensed Attorneys at Law have been a huge part of my life. It has been a pleasure to rhyme alongside Furious and truly tear up tracks. But maybe being one of two Nastiest Rappers Alive is not what I want anymore. I want my music to mean something and I don’t know that sticking with the Attorneys is the way to go. Again, I am not quitting the Attorneys now, I just need some more time to think about and examine my life so far and figure out if I’m truly satisfied with where I now stand. As the great band Commuter once wrote, “Young hearts beat fast,” and mine truly does. Thank you all for the support.

I don’t know what to do. I’m really worried that he might want to quit the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law. I don’t know what I’d do if he did quit… I mean, how could it be UAL with just me? I’d have to start some shitty solo career. It’s hard being nasty on my own.

Every second Tuesday of the month we always meet up to go to the bus station and pick up chicks who aren’t wearing any panties. He totally ditched me this month. Since then, I haven’t heard a word from him. It’s starting to freak me out.

If anyone out there has talked to Kareef in the past few weeks, let me know. I have to know what’s going on. I don’t want UAL to break up. And I especially don’t want us to lose the title of Nastiest Rappers in the Universe.

Kareef: Ual does -CONFIDENTIAL- classics…let me know your thoughts

Nik Furious: You are a genius. This could be the one that finally gets up in some real trouble. We should put -CONFIDENTIAL- on hold to make this album.

Kareef: I thought you might like it i figure its the most innocent becoming the most raunchy masterpiece ever

Nik Furious: Yeah this is maybe the most insane and beautiful expression of UAL i’ve ever heard. What songs to sample?

Kareef: The two that led me to think were -CONFIDENTIAL- aka a whole new girl and -CONFIDENTIAL- aka a cunt ima fuck up

Nik Furious: We gotta use -CONFIDENTIAL- and -CONFIDENTIAL- (about going down on a chick - or it could be called under my pee and be about golden showers).

Kareef: Nice i like that um im feelin a cunt etc is about us bein pissed about chicks that wont hump us so we give em roofies and well you know

Nik Furious: Fo sho. We can also sample -CONFIDENTIAL- and sing - unlicensed nights like unlicensed days more often than not we’re banging that twat in hundreds of ways.

Kareef: Very nice

Last Friday / Saturday, we moved somewhere around 22 gigs of content. If this is true, that puts our total listens and downloads at over 27 gigs of material in September.

By the way, what the fuck is up with the new MySpace Music thing? It totally blows! If you’re not some major label artist then you can still only upload a whopping grand total of six songs. How lame is that shit!??

The answer: super lame. That’s why the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law give you every single song we’ve ever recorded for free. No strings attached. Because we love you.

Okay, sorry, I’m getting carried away. Point is, I’m tired of taking our old diary updates and moving them onto this blog. And I’m goddamn glad to be done.

Anyway, podcast news coming soon…

Here’s what you’ll get:

The worst part was that IE7 was pulling the wrong playlists for all of our music players on the site. See, this site is edited on a Mac running Firefox, where the playlists worked just fine. But IE7 was showing completely different music.

To everyone who showed up here only to find that our music players weren’t even playing the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law, we apologize. If you run into any issues in the future, email us at UnlicensedAttorneys@gmail.com.

That’s because Guilty as Charged is the final album to get the music player treatment. To coincide with the new music players, I’ve updated the layout of UnlicensedAttorneys.com to be all about the music as soon as you get to the site.

Well, the Attorneys understand your concerns. That’s why the 20 Minute Sex Soundtrack and Face Money pt 2 now have completely kickass music players so you can listen to every Unlicensed Attorneys track without ever leaving the album page. The the rest of the UAL discography will be getting this treatment soon.

Shout out to Juicy, who turns 21 today. Keep juicing it, baby.

And today is also National Pizza Party Day. The Attorneys plan on celebrating this holiday until we can’t walk. We hope you will too.

See that gray text up top on all the pages (except for this blog, of course)? Now it’s scrolling. On every page.

As a special filthy treat, each nasty line of text has a new dirty phrase at the end too (a special thanks to the lovely ladies who helped me come up with the dirty sayings… you know who you are!).

Our web stats say that we used over 1.5 gigs of bandwidth from yesterday into the early morning hours of today. Basically, that means people are downloading a shitload of Unlicensed Attorneys music. Excellent job, nasty fans. Keep downloading UAL songs and we’ll post more good numbers later this week.

A rare glimpse of Kareef, the last unicorn.

It’s here: the UAL photo gallery.

Check out the Attorneys and friends in all their sexy glory.

History, multimedia, and contact sections are still undone, but they’ll be up soon.

Ronnie B is getting into town tonight and we’re gonna lay down some bonus tracks for 20 Minute Sex Soundtrack.