… and i think he’s dead. His car was found totaled on the side of the road with no body inside.

I’d say I’m worried and sad expect that fucker quit the Attorneys, so actually, I don’t give a shit.

OH WHO AM I KIDDING I CAN’T STOP CRYING. TAKE ME INSTEAD GOD TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!!!!

What up. Furious here just letting you know that I didn’t give up and I’m still moving forward… I’m just moving forward real slow.

It’s been tough since Kareef quit the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law. I can’t seem to get out of bed most of the time and I haven’t showered in 17 days.

But I’m still working on a new UAL album. I’m trying to do something a little more serious and socially conscious. Right now, the working title is Why Do Whales Have to Die? and it’s about the industrial destruction of our planet’s oceans. No release date yet.

In the meantime, I guess just keep listening to our old songs and reliving the glory days of the Attorneys. At least, I know that’s what I’ll be doing…

And he didn’t even tell me!!! All he did was post this damn video to YouTube and I had to find it myself.

It doesn’t make any fucking sense! He went to all the trouble of making a real sweet YouTube channel for the Attorneys and then he posted a video saying he’s quitting!!! Fuck you, Kareef. You’ll be hearing from me SOON.

I know this is my first official time blogging on here as Nik Furious… and it sucks to do it under these circumstances, but I’m really worried about Kareef and I have to say something. He’s acting strange, like not returning my calls and not meeting up with me at the club to tag team some crazy freaks who then come back to our place where we smear peanut butter all over their bodies and have a naked slip-n-slide competition.

I don’t know what to do. I’m really worried that he might want to quit the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law. I don’t know what I’d do if he did quit… I mean, how could it be UAL with just me? I’d have to start some shitty solo career. It’s hard being nasty on my own.

Every second Tuesday of the month we always meet up to go to the bus station and pick up chicks who aren’t wearing any panties. He totally ditched me this month. Since then, I haven’t heard a word from him. It’s starting to freak me out.

If anyone out there has talked to Kareef in the past few weeks, let me know. I have to know what’s going on. I don’t want UAL to break up. And I especially don’t want us to lose the title of Nastiest Rappers in the Universe.

And people have downloaded over 4 gigs of Attorneys music in October. Sexy.

The following is a transcript of a text message conversation between Kareef and Nik Furious:

Kareef: Ual does -CONFIDENTIAL- classics…let me know your thoughts

Nik Furious: You are a genius. This could be the one that finally gets up in some real trouble. We should put -CONFIDENTIAL- on hold to make this album.

Kareef: I thought you might like it i figure its the most innocent becoming the most raunchy masterpiece ever

Nik Furious: Yeah this is maybe the most insane and beautiful expression of UAL i’ve ever heard. What songs to sample?

Kareef: The two that led me to think were -CONFIDENTIAL- aka a whole new girl and -CONFIDENTIAL- aka a cunt ima fuck up

Nik Furious: We gotta use -CONFIDENTIAL- and -CONFIDENTIAL- (about going down on a chick - or it could be called under my pee and be about golden showers).

Kareef: Nice i like that um im feelin a cunt etc is about us bein pissed about chicks that wont hump us so we give em roofies and well you know

Nik Furious: Fo sho. We can also sample -CONFIDENTIAL- and sing - unlicensed nights like unlicensed days more often than not we’re banging that twat in hundreds of ways.

Kareef: Very nice

A rare glimpse of Kareef, the last unicorn.

It’s here: the UAL photo gallery.

Check out the Attorneys and friends in all their sexy glory.

Learn the (obviously) 100% true history of the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law. Then read more about Kareef the mad genius dirty doctor emcee and super producer / nasty rhymer Nik Furious.