OK, so as most of you may know I have been “acting weird”, or so Furious says. And I’m writing this to say that yes, maybe I have and also that yes, maybe I have been thinking about quitting the Attorneys. Don’t get me wrong, it has been the ride of a lifetime so far. There’s nothing I love more than going to the senior center with Furious and picking up a couple of raunchy geezers and pumping them full of my young cock until they pass out and die on our couch. But I think there comes a time in every man’s life when we must ask ourselves, is this really what life is all about?

With that said, I am not quitting the Attorneys as of now. But I have been doing some soul searching. I look at our body of work and I say to myself, how could I let my kids see this one day, and I’m not talking about the thousands I have been skipping child support payments on. I’m talking about the kids me and my third wife actually love. I believe that maybe I am changing. I can’t go out anymore and get shit faced and tag team random sluts with Furious every night and be satisfied with my life. Sure, its nice to casually buttfuck a chick for hours on end and fall asleep knowing that I’ll be doing the same thing the next night, but I just don’t think I can keep up anymore. Or maybe I don’t want to.

The Unlicensed Attorneys at Law have been a huge part of my life. It has been a pleasure to rhyme alongside Furious and truly tear up tracks. But maybe being one of two Nastiest Rappers Alive is not what I want anymore. I want my music to mean something and I don’t know that sticking with the Attorneys is the way to go. Again, I am not quitting the Attorneys now, I just need some more time to think about and examine my life so far and figure out if I’m truly satisfied with where I now stand. As the great band Commuter once wrote, “Young hearts beat fast,” and mine truly does. Thank you all for the support.

This past Sunday, Nik Furious dropped a new track called “To the MAX” over on the AudioShocker podcast and blog. It’s a story about hooking up his nanny, pissing off his wife, and then hooking up with his mother-in-law to make everything right again. You know, normal everyday type of shit.

The following is a transcript of a text message conversation between Kareef and Nik Furious:

Kareef: Ual does -CONFIDENTIAL- classics…let me know your thoughts

Nik Furious: You are a genius. This could be the one that finally gets up in some real trouble. We should put -CONFIDENTIAL- on hold to make this album.

Kareef: I thought you might like it i figure its the most innocent becoming the most raunchy masterpiece ever

Nik Furious: Yeah this is maybe the most insane and beautiful expression of UAL i’ve ever heard. What songs to sample?

Kareef: The two that led me to think were -CONFIDENTIAL- aka a whole new girl and -CONFIDENTIAL- aka a cunt ima fuck up

Nik Furious: We gotta use -CONFIDENTIAL- and -CONFIDENTIAL- (about going down on a chick - or it could be called under my pee and be about golden showers).

Kareef: Nice i like that um im feelin a cunt etc is about us bein pissed about chicks that wont hump us so we give em roofies and well you know

Nik Furious: Fo sho. We can also sample -CONFIDENTIAL- and sing - unlicensed nights like unlicensed days more often than not we’re banging that twat in hundreds of ways.

Kareef: Very nice

As we mentioned on the 18th, here’s a special sneak preview of a new beat that the Attorneys will be rhyming over on a future UAL album: Windrider produced by Nik Furious (courtesy of the AudioShocker).

I’m proud to say that we’ve moved over 2 gigs worth of music in June. I’m sad to say that incredible comic book artist and Nik Furious inspiration, Michael Turner, passed away yesterday.

Learn the (obviously) 100% true history of the Unlicensed Attorneys at Law. Then read more about Kareef the mad genius dirty doctor emcee and super producer / nasty rhymer Nik Furious.